Author: atulkmehra

How to Listen To Your Emotions

by atulkmehra, posted in Self Love

Your body has a memory of every moment that you have ever lived, from sperm consciousness in the mother’s womb to this present day in your life. Everything you have experienced, thought, learned, felt, heard, interpreted, saw, touched, smelled, did, tasted or spoke — consciously or unconsciously — was recorded and kept under the lock and key of the Unconscious mind.

Your emotions are the hidden messages of your unconscious mind, through which they attempt to connect with you. While your positive emotions indicate that you are doing well, your negative emotions alert you to the fact that you still need to recognize and learn and live your life as a whole.

Research shows that by listening, understanding, processing and integrating your emotions, you have the capacity to recover from severe physical and mental sicknesses. Simpler emotions can be processed and controlled through a simple technique, which, when used daily, can help to overcome minor anxieties, frustrations and disappointments; however, a severe case may require many sessions from a professional using a therapeutic process in depth psychology that is integrative. Unfortunately, not many therapeutic processes can access the unconscious and integrate those sick parts in a comforting manner without guilt. In fact, my experience to date has been that I have yet to come across one process that is nearing that work in both Canada and the United States of America.

Emotions help you to understand yourself on a deeper level. They contain the information connected to your past and also reflect the present experiences and events in your life; surprisingly, they may also partly inform you of the future state of your health. Listening to your emotions can help you to explore your deep needs and allow you to feel secure and support you in living a more balanced and complete life.

You are generally taught that you should avoid negative emotions at any cost. Over time, suppressing these emotions can become an unconscious pattern without awareness on your part and the way it is affecting your body. Not listening to these emotions can trigger negative consequences for your physical and/or mental health.

Avoiding or not finding solutions can accelerate the struggles in your life that can last for a long time. For example, if you have 30% negative energy in your body and you use another 30% of your energy to control it, then you will now have 60% of your energy in conflict while trying to live your life with remaining 40% of your energy. This number keeps increasing unless an immediate solution is found. This inner struggle is a very harmful pattern. Emotions tend to get stronger when they are caught in a struggle and just by labelling them as being “bad” or “negative” and “moving on from that event from the past” is not going to help at all. Things may spiral out of control and manifest themselves in the form of a physical or mental disorder where you might require professional help.

Here I would like to share a process that has helped me throughout my life. I have been lucky to have an idea embedded into my subconscious mind by my father when I was quite young. He taught me to be aware of sensations in my body whenever I can. He taught me to be aware when I am happy and also when I am sad. Check out what parts of my body feel and react, for example, when I found myself being nervous, I noticed that I moved my left foot very quickly. I further realized that my heart started pounding and my breathing became shallow. It further affected my speech and selection of the words in conversation. Later, I felt a mixture of anger and sadness because I was not able to speak up from my heart and instead did what other person told me to do. Strange, this resulted into a mixture of opposite feelings!

From now onwards, do this as a fun exercise. Although it might be difficult at first, with practice you will master it. Observe your bodily sensations few times a day during different hours, and if you wish to, you may you record them in a journal where you enter details such as time, place, situation or a person you were with. This may help you to understand the frequency and the circumstances associated with the emotions, the type of emotions they were — happiness, anger, sadness, fear – and the parts of your body that felt them.

What can you do next time you start feeling them? Do some breathing exercises. Visualize them and analyze the hidden patterns lurking beneath them, ask yourself where is the origin and be open to receiving unbelievable and illogical response from your inner-self! Over time, it will all begin to make sense to you although in the beginning you may not believe it. Once you understand the malignant connections working underneath, you will have the choice to change it. If this does not help you, then please send me a message to help you.

Do we live in a sick society?

by atulkmehra, posted in Anxiety, Uncategorized

We live in a world where success is an essential part of our life. People do not see us as who we are but how much successful we have been in our life. Do you have a big house, a profession of the year or how good looking you are? This list can go on but the simply hidden idea in fact is that “how much is your worth?”

The Society demands us to follow the rules and social obligations which is alright till the point it does not dominate us but when these rules and obligations go out of control in our life then things start to change. Let us look at the sentence “If you are not efficient then you are worth nothing”. Although this statement is not common to be heard in everyday life, nevertheless its subtle hidden message repeats almost in every area of our life. Do you think if you do not do your work efficiently in your office then you may be sacked very soon?

Mesmer knew that we live in a sick society. The efficiency plays an important role to get the recognition. To be recognized, accepted or approved is a basic essential part for the human happiness. Unfortunately the same struggle to get recognized can even take us to create a Cancer. The human brain emotions can trigger to any disease if the basic essential need to be recognized or accepted is not met in the history of one’s life.

Let me explain myself with an example “Let us say the hidden message to get accepted in society has 3 conditions although it sounds ridiculous to speak like that but for an individual emotional mind this can impact deeply. “A woman has to have a profession of the year, a model body and to be a naturally blue eyed blond” and now if she completes these 3 neurotic conditions then she is accepted by the society and everything will go very well (but nevertheless sooner or later something else is going to affect her life). Now let us say that she does not possess these 3 qualities and cannot get that recognition. She has to bear the hidden pressure and will ultimately disturb her everyday life.

Now let us say her self-acceptance defense mechanism takes charge and whispers “It does not make any difference if you are not blue eyed blond and you don’t have model’s body and profession of the year, however you have other qualities.”

Now every woman will respond different to that conflict. Some would accept it and will go ahead feeling emptiness and other will find ways to express it through it a disease and other may live the rest of the life deciphering subconsciously how they should live, changing their hair colour and putting contact lenses, going to Gym to reduce extra weight or liposuction, feeling unsatisfied with their present job or finding a Coach or a Guru to fulfill these necessities.

Now you can see how those hidden messages are impacting in our life. There can be lots of similar things not only for women but also for men, children, pregnant women and Senior citizens and even new born babies or babies in womb. Everybody is in the constant stressful race whether you accept it or not. Even Mother Teresa suffered depression; Bruce Lee died something connected with Unconscious Mind. Today’s stressful, demanding life style, pleasing others to get recognition has contributed to too many mental and physical disorders.

Now the question arises how we can come out of this everyday struggle and how we can live a better life?

Are you depressed?

by atulkmehra, posted in Anxiety

Almost 40% of the population die prematurely from heart disease and circulation problems which they have largely created by their own behaviour, whether it is a poor diet, insufficient exercises, too much stress, smoking, anxiety or manic behaviour. But majority of them felt healthy in their life. But in fact they were not safe. Are they healthier if they survive the heart attack, or a depressed mood is not powerful enough to have a heart attack?

Very few people know that depression can cause heart attack. A study in Baltimore, Md., found that depressed people of all ages are more likely to have a heart attack in the next 14 years following the study. It is clear that there is a real problem as medical doctors often miss the diagnosis of depression. Research is still in its early stages, but some researchers feel that depression may be as much of a factor in heart disease as high cholesterol and blood pressure. Depressed people are more likely to have a heart attack and, heart attack victims are more likely to be depressed.

The word depression is derived from the Latin word deprimere, “to press down.” What was previously known as Melancholia and now it is known as clinical depression, major depression, or simply depression and commonly referred to as major depressive order by many health care professionals.

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from depression. 

  • You can’t sleep or you sleep too much.
  • You can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult.
  • You feel hopeless and helpless.
  • You can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try.
  • You have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating.
  • You are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual.
  • You have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case).

Depression in teens 

While some depressed teens appear sad, others do not. In fact, irritability—rather than depression—is frequently the predominant symptom in depressed adolescents and teens. A depressed teenager may be hostile, grumpy, or easily lose his or her temper. Unexplained aches and pains are also common symptoms of depression in young people. 

Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. But with help, teenage depression is highly treatable.

Depression in women 

Rates of depression in women are twice as high as they are in men.  As for signs and symptoms, women are more likely to experience pronounced feelings of guilt, sleep excessively, overeat, and gain weight. Women are also more likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder. Women can also feel depression after giving birth or Bereavement.

Depression in men

Depression is a loaded word in our culture. Many associate it, however wrongly, with a sign of weakness and excessive emotion. This is especially true with men. Depressed men tend to complain about fatigue, irritability, sleep problems, and loss of interest in work and hobbies. Other signs and symptoms of depression in men include anger, aggression, violence, reckless behaviour, and substance abuse.

Depression causes and risk factors

Some illnesses have a specific medical cause, making treatment straightforward. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have appendicitis, you have surgery. But depression is more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. 

Causes and risk factors for depression

  • Loneliness
  • Lack of social support
  • Recent stressful life experiences
  • Family history of depression
  • Marital or relationship problems
  • Financial strain
  • Early childhood trauma or abuse
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Unemployment or underemployment
  • Health problems or chronic pain

Make healthy lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes are not always easy to make, but they can have a big impact on depression. Lifestyle changes that can be very effective include:

  • Cultivating supportive relationships
  • Getting regular exercise and sleep
  • Eating healthfully to naturally boost mood
  • Managing stress 
  • Practicing relaxation techniques
  • Challenging negative thought patterns

Seek professional help

If support from family and friends, positive lifestyle changes, and emotional skills building aren’t enough, seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. Learning about your options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs. 

I am a Registered Psychotherapist and I can help you to treat your depression. Please feel free to call me at 905-781-8194 or email me at atul@atulmehra.com

How to love yourself fully and not in parts

by atulkmehra, posted in Anxiety, Self Love, Tips

Love is one of the most loving emotions in the world. You have no idea why you should love, but you just want to love and be loved. You want to go out and look at the world with loving eyes, be helpful and be grateful and maybe you want the same reaction from others. The purpose of the creation is love and loving is natural. Sometimes you get those eureka moments and you become the part of the creation and love surrounds you everywhere. On the other hand, sometimes you don’t get the same response and then sensations of rejection kick in and you connect with the lowest part of your Self. You feel sad, hurt, rejected and your world ends there and nevertheless you are still a part of the creation.

Love is in love and love is in hate too! Why does it happen? Is it natural? Can you avoid that? Is there a technique or method so that you can become immune to it?

These questions can help you to understand more and find answers to live more consciously and happily. Surprisingly the answers to all these questions are not outside but they are inside you, waiting to be explored. The secret lies in totality.

Research shows that any information whether it is considered positive or negative, that comes from outside, if it’s not processed and understood correctly then the unconscious mind can create resistance and later it can be followed by anxiety and similar sensations and it can further create many obstacles to live a healthy life.

You cannot love yourself in parts and everything about you makes you total or complete. Your Physical self refers to your body including all organs, cells, muscles, bones, eyes, legs, heart, brain, every body part you know or you don’t know about; Your Psychological self consists of your logic, intellect, creativity, imagination, feelings, ego, ideas, thoughts, past experiences, memories, all emotions including positive, negative, good or bad; and your Spiritual self is gaining experience with everything happening in your life. All of them make you complete, whole, one and not separated.

Whenever you feel a lack of complete self-acceptance then you look for solutions from outside in order to fill the emptiness and it leads to an inner conflict which ends up taking many unhealthy decisions and your life gets affected directly or indirectly.

People generally say “I do not want to live a negative life” and they chase “positive living” for rest of their lives. It is very difficult to understand and grasp the idea why you have to accept negative emotions if everyone out there is screaming to live a positive life? Living a positive life is beneficial and there is no doubt about it but generally people do not know what a positive life is?

A positive life from totality point of view includes Logical side (left brain) and Emotional side (right brain) and guiding you to love everything. Love yourself in positive conditions and love yourself in negative conditions too. Then only you can use your full potential and opt out towards permanent possible peace rather than looking for Band-Aid solutions. Learn to take awareness, accept, understand, integrate and process negative and positive emotions both, so that you can have a deeper understanding of your total Self. It further reduces the possibilities of physical, mental or spiritual ailments from simple anxiety to terminal cancers.

Remember positive is not always positive such as a positive result of an Aids Test.