Let’s talk today about how to live a positive life. Many of us want to live it, but we end up living a negative one.
The other day, a client came to me and asked me, “how could I live a positive life?” In response, I asked him what is a positive life for him?
He said, “hmmm, you know, happy and healthy life, good relationships, being positive and avoiding the negative.” I said, “awesome; you can live it but not for a long time. Life could not be lived by ignoring the negatives.” He was surprised and explained, “I have always learnt to be positive and to avoid the negatives. I have spent thousands of dollars on courses and meditations; now you’re telling me I have wasted all that money?”
Yes and no.
He asked me to explain. “First, if you were living a positive life, you would not be asking me this question. Secondly, you are not satisfied and happy although you pretend and feel empty.” He said, “yes, you nailed it, I insist on living a positive life, but I end up with lots of stress, anxiety and sometimes a feeling of unworthiness.”
I said, “Okay, let’s see, God forbid if somebody has AIDS, he would never like a positive result when he goes for the test, right? Who would not love a negative result in this case?
When somebody is trying to bother you, or you don’t like somebody’s attitude, you cannot be positive there; you have to stop him. We waste our life by placing others before us because we don’t know how to say no to them. Now, saying no to them is a negative, but in those situations, you must use it to protect yourself and feel good.
Your subconscious mind knows about positivity and negativity. The positive and negative are natural parts of your brain, and you need to integrate the negative components into your everyday life to maintain the positives.
Now, imagine that you are driving a car, and you accelerate. Let us say that the accelerator is positive and the brakes are negative. What if there are no brakes in the car? How are you going to stop it? What is going to happen? Scary! The brakes must be there, and you must use them, although they are the negative part of the car. Would you ever drive a car without the brakes?
He moved his head to say no, although he seemed confused but feeling that confusion was good for him because something opposite appeared that made him think out of the box.
I continued, suppose you are driving very fast, at an excessive speed, and suddenly something appears in front of you. You push that brake pedal very hard to avoid an accident. Here, you used the negative part to create a positive balance to save your life.
Now you understand how negative becomes vital because life is not about balance. Life is about living. The balance is about life. When you start living your life, balance comes naturally. The positive and negative aspects play an essential role in living a harmonious and balanced life. They are not in conflict with each other but support each other like day and night or life and death.
I said you need to understand on a deeper level and start creating a difference. A positive attitude helps you feel better and creates happy moments and healthy relationships. A negative attitude allows you to avoid what you don’t want in your life, just like the brakes in the car.
You are the chauffeur of your life’s car. Sometimes you have to break, and other times you have to accelerate. It is essential to recognize and understand the thought patterns containing the positive and negative aspects of your everyday life; otherwise, it can be disastrous. This is the way of using negatives and positives.
Never say “yes” if you want to say “no .”Think about it, take your time and then you can decide. Every day, you can integrate some negatives with the positives, leading to a healthier, more fulfilled life.
Learn new ways to train your subconscious mind to implement negatives with positives. The positives cannot go very far without negatives. It is like walking on two feet. Be pessimistic about pleasing others and be optimistic about valuing yourself.
He smiled with satisfaction and said, now it makes sense why I was struggling so much with headaches and feeling so much guilt, exhaustion, and anxiety. He continued, “the most important piece I was missing in my life was integrating the negative part.” I replied, “yes,” you cannot love yourself in parts, but you love your whole self.”
He then asked me if I could share the secret to becoming one with himself.
I accepted him for further work and arranged an appointment for next week.
Atul K. Mehra
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